"weird" food

Okay, at work whoever is at the podium writes notes to the caller, so I was writing about seemingly strange food. And I was told flat out "gross!!"

cheese eggs with syrup
chips with ketchup
frozen grapes
milk with vanilla (liquid) coffee creamer

It's good. :)

.. red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight..."

Wednesday I started the first of my many practicums. I absolutely loved it. Children are so wonderful! I'm working with 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, which is actually kind of odd because I want to work with 1st, 2nd or 3rd graders. I'm working in a school that isn't the best of a neighborhood. It was so sad. Mrs. Jowers was telling me about some of the students not getting help with their homework; the parents just don't take any interest. And some of them were really dirty. But then I think, this is an opportunity God has given me to love on these children as He would. I have to love on them like He does because He lives in me, and has always loved me even though I'm "stained with dirt." It's so awesome how they look up to you because you're "big," but I don't want them to look up to me because of Holly. I want them to look up to me because they see Someone who loves them, because they see some sort of Light, maybe nothing they have ever seen before. I pray that Jesus is heard through my mouth, shown in my actions, and felt in my hugs.

Rainbows

Lately, I have really been thinking about my past choices and actions. I've been praying about just really being sorry. I've been broken about what I have chosen to do with the Cross, what I have chosen to do with my life and with other's lives. Never have I felt so remorseful in my life. I have never wanted to turn back the hands of time and redo things as bad as I do right now. I've been praying about the wasted years. Asking God just to have mercy on me. Asking that I might be able to try again, start over. But I don't deserve it. Then last night I was reading about Noah. And I read about God's promise and the rainbow He sent across the sky. I prayed and went to sleep. This afternoon when I got home, I stuck my ipod on and walked into the kitchen to make a pb&j sandwich. But as I walked to the pantry, on the ground right in of my foot was a rainbow and the words coming through my ear phones said "He will wipe away your tears and return your wasted years..." I just stopped in my tracks. I was like thank YOU!

"...This is our God..."

Shanna and Sara (not 7th graders!)

  

songs of praise

  

Makin' necklaces

  

Ashley being me.. haha

  

primping

  

Brandi, Haley, Tati, Stephanie and Jordan

  

PJs

 
 

Disciple Now- True Love Waits

I thought I wasn't going to D-Now, but I got to go. We went to Jacksonville (Orange Park). I had the privilege of teaching 7th grade girls. It was amazing to see God working in their lives. Through teaching them God was teaching me. We really needed another 2 or 3 days because by the end is when the girls started opening up. It was a lot of fun, just to hang out with them, love on them and be real (plus pillow fight). The entire weekend God helped me to focus on someone else for once, rather than myself. He helped me to focus on the future of these girls lives and His life in them. I broke down as soon as I got in my car to drive home, though. For the first time in my life I literally signed that I am going to wait. I've already given it to God, but it's only been months. Just to sign felt so good. I signed at the top between the E and the L (truE Love). Still, I felt so inadequate. Who am I to be teaching girls about purity? I realized the gift that the girls have, not just gift but giftS. The gift of the relationship they have with their Savior if they choose to stay close to Him. And then within that all the things He desires to give them in their future. They can hang onto all of it using the strength given to them by Christ living within them. And let it blossom like a rose rather than a train wreck. I've chosen to walk the narrow road finally; my heart can't take any other way. I realized just being on this trip that things I have wanted, God is giving me. Two verses ringing true are "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33) and "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). I loved just being with my friend Sara and her friend, Shanna in the car ride. We talked about God and what's going on in our lives, our struggles, but we also talked about silly stuff and listen to music. It's really amazing of what comes forth when two people are focused on Christ. I've wanted to be able to work with youth, and now God is allowing me to. I'm building friendships that I have wanted. I'm meeting people with the same life goal, which is to glorify our Savior. This is cheesy, but it gives you warm fuzzies. It's constant joy. It's continuous love. I'm not tense. I'm not looking over my shoulder. I'm not scared. I'm not sad. The most important relationship I have been able to start rebuilding through Christ is with my mom. It's like we're close again. I can finally be real because I'm not trying to hide. I can finally use the support I have always had in her, but never chosen to use. I can get back to cracking up with her. I can love her and be loved. True Love does wait.

Sorry if this is confusing. My thoughts were a little jumbled. I wanted to express what I felt while I was driving home yesterday, but it's not comprehendable really.

A Page is Turned

A page is turned by the wind to a boy with curly grin
With a world to conquer at the age of ten
But as history unfolds and the storybook is told
He finds salvation not at the hands of man

And the God of second chance
Picked him up and He let him dance
Through a world that is not kind
And all this time, preparing him the one
To hold him up when he comes undone
Beneath the storm, beneath the sun
And now a man, here you stand
Your day has come

A page is turned in this world to reveal a little girl
With a heart that's bigger, as it is unfurled
By the language in her soul, that's teaching her to grow
With a careful cover of love that will not fail

And the God of second chance
Picked her up and He let her dance
Through a world that is not kind
And all this time, preparing her the one
To hold her up when she comes undone
Beneath the storm, beneath the sun
And grown up tall, here you are
Your day has come

Beneath the air of autumn, she took him by the hand
And warm beneath the ardor, she took his heart instead
And high upon the mountain, he asked her for her hand
Just for her hand

A page is turned in this life, he's making her his wife
And there is no secret to the source of this much life
When the grace falls like rain is washing them again
Just a chance to somehow rise above this land

Where the God of second chance
Will pick them up and He'll let them dance
Through a world that is not kind
And all this time, they're sharing with the One
That holds them up when they come undone
Beneath the sotrm, beneath the sun
And once again, here you stand
And once again, here you stand
Your day has come

--Bebo Norman

February 1, 1984

I'm 22 today.

A few years ago I didn't think I'd be where I am. I had different plans. I'm here and truly happy by the grace of God.

I'm amazed that You would choose me. Astonished at where I was last year, and the fact that You still somehow love me. My last birthday I was falling apart. I was breaking up. I was running, but never moving. But You didn't give up, ever. You never have. You kept comforting me, providing for me, calling me and most importantly loving me.

I'm taken back when I think You not only brought me into this world 22 years ago, but You have been thinking about me forever. Forever in the past and forever into the future. Forever infinitely. I was and am always thought of, even before time. It's so brilliant, yet so mind boggling God.

Thank you God for another year, even though I'd rather be with You in Heaven. Thank You for Your Son's birthday without it I wouldn't be. Thank You for life. Jesus, my life isn't my own. I don't want to live like it is. Let it be Yours.

"I didn't know that You were standin' there
I didn't know that, that was You holdin' me
I didn't notice You were crying too
I didn't know that that was You washing my feet..."