February 1, 1984

I'm 22 today.

A few years ago I didn't think I'd be where I am. I had different plans. I'm here and truly happy by the grace of God.

I'm amazed that You would choose me. Astonished at where I was last year, and the fact that You still somehow love me. My last birthday I was falling apart. I was breaking up. I was running, but never moving. But You didn't give up, ever. You never have. You kept comforting me, providing for me, calling me and most importantly loving me.

I'm taken back when I think You not only brought me into this world 22 years ago, but You have been thinking about me forever. Forever in the past and forever into the future. Forever infinitely. I was and am always thought of, even before time. It's so brilliant, yet so mind boggling God.

Thank you God for another year, even though I'd rather be with You in Heaven. Thank You for Your Son's birthday without it I wouldn't be. Thank You for life. Jesus, my life isn't my own. I don't want to live like it is. Let it be Yours.

"I didn't know that You were standin' there
I didn't know that, that was You holdin' me
I didn't notice You were crying too
I didn't know that that was You washing my feet..."