Status

Haven't posted in a while, well like a week. I'm only posting now because I got to school so early.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

I have held everything in. Everything about my break up, I've acted like it doesn't hurt, and that I am completely fine. I'm getting along without him, moving on, all is okay. But I'm not. And it's all surfacing. It's like the break is beginning. I can feel my heart start to crack. And it's cracking slowly... '

Unfortunately it can't be healed until it's completely broken.

I was like okay! I'm going to try hard. I have been. But I miss him. And I've come to realize it is him. Not a figment of my imagination, not the 'perfect' him, not just any ol' boyfriend. But the boy I dated for six and a half years.

The person I am myself around.
The person I crack up with.
The person I don't mind singing in front of.
The person who wrestles with me.
The person who puts me to sleep.
The person who listens to my many, many problems.
The person who says I look pretty even when I know at the moment I don't.
The person who waited for me.
The person who tells me the truth.
The person who gives the best bear hugs.
The person who encourages me.
The person who laughs when I rip his belt loop.
The person who comforts me.
The person who forgives and forgives and forgives me.
The person who is patient with me.
The person who hates my driving.
The person who is playful with me
The person who cooks for me.
The person who doesn't complain.
The person who keeps me safe.

But he's also the person that I hurt.
The person that I lied to, repeatedly.
The person to whom I did things that are irreversible.
The person I am having trouble living without.
The person that I want to say I'm sorry too.
And the person I want to start over with.