broken hearts

Jesus,

help me to be selfless. help me to have empathy. let me look at other's problems, and just know You are solving mine. You know what happened today at school and You know what is going on with my best friend. i pray for both of them. heal their hearts. take away fear. bind satan. i know You work everything out according to Your good and perfect will. our hearts are aching for Your return. the world is maddness and in mass confusion. Jesus, we want to be willing to let You breathe life into others through us. there's so much hurt, but You bring healing. we are waiting eagerly for You, but while we do, give us the strength to obey and do hard things. reign in our hearts as You reign on high so others might see the love you bring. we want to love Your church, and we want to love the lost. we want them to have what we have and feel what we feel because of You. keep reminding us of Your death and life. thank you for holding me steady. use me. wake me up to the reality of this dying world. wake my heart up to agape love. give me a love for You above anything and anyone else.

thank you for choosing me.

:*

amazing patience

Jesus,

You are way too patient with me.

Thank you.

Questions

Why do I have two sides?
Why does only the bad show?
Why do I cry for the goodness of You to come out, but I still don't let it?
Why would you allow the burden of me and my selfishness on John and Sara, yet give me the two best friends a girl could have?
I don't get it.
Why do you even take time after time to work on me?
Why are you never ceasing even when I'm ever failing?
I don't understand.
Why are You proud and glad to call me Your daughter, when I'm full of what You hate? Pride.
Why do you surround me with sunsets and beauty when the depth of my heart is hideous?
Why would You give Yourself to a girl who doesn't even give you small stuff?
Why?
Why would You hold my hands after all they've touched?
Why do You kiss my lips, when I kiss Your cheek in betrayal over and over?
Why do you catch my tears when I created them because of sin?
Why even create me when my tongue speaks words of destruction and my feet continually walk away?
Why don't You see disaster when You look at me?
How can You see worth, and why do You say You see beauty?
Why do you comfort me when I've earned being without anyone because I destroy the bridges of all of my relationships?
It doesn't make sense.
Why do You think of me?
Why do You waste breath speaking to my hardened heart?
Why would You want to spend an eternity with me?
Forgiveness of my sins came at a price--Your life. Why for me?
It shouldn't be.
Why am I so selfish?
Why do I look inward when it's about You and Your glory?
Why do I look into my mess--and disaster when You are complete peace?
Why do I fight when You ask to hold me?