Take a Different Street, Get Out of the Vicious Cycle

I've been in circles with my ex. Everytime we break up, I get involved with someone else. I'll be the first to admit, I like the attention. And normally I'm angry at my ex, so it is a way of telling him, I can get any one guy I want, even though my heart is aching to be with him. Well, my ex and I break up, and I start living like I should. But as soon as I get into another relationship, I slip away slowly but surely. Then my ex comes back around and I get worse. It's a sick cycle.

Well, before I ever went on the first date with the "new guy" God was telling me no. I did everything I possibly could to convince myself that it was fine and it was "just one date." Well, one turned into quite a few. God continue to tug at my heart everyday, what seemed like every moment. It's like He kept saying "Remember your list, remember what you want, remember who you want to be, remember who I desire you to be, I want to give you something beyond your dreams."

Every date was a stuggle. It was so easy to be with this guy. He does meet parts of my list, but I'm not sure if he meets some of my vital expectations. Well, I knew what had to be done. I didn't talk to him for a few days because I was busy with homework (aka- stalling). I finally talked to him last night. I told him how I felt, and afterward I felt amazing. Obeying the Lord really does feel good. I knew I had to do my part, trusting in the Lord even though I was sacred of hurting his feelings and having no guy in my life.

It feels so good to take a different street, rather than falling into the same hole time and again. I've been doing it for years. I know God is like "See, precious, now was that so bad?" I also knew that I was putting myself into a vunerable position. I was inviting one of my greatest weaknesses into my life each date and each day.

The best part besides the feeling I get by obeying is the fact that God is being glorified! And Satan is probably furious. With God's help we can defeat Satan in our moments of temptation. He thought he had a hold, but with God Satan has got nothing on me. It makes me want to say HAHA-in your face!

I know this is only the beginning but with every victory and everyday of drawing closer to God it gets easier. Or it can go the other way, it's our choice. But a little bit of sin turns into a lot of bit of sin!! It's a deadly progression backward, and I've been there time and time again. Not anymore!

"[Spiritual growth] is a question of obedience, turn away from one second of obedience, and instantly darkness and death are at work." -- Oswald Chambers