I AM.
I'm on my way up out of bondage. I have prayed that I won't ever forget where I have come from. I so desperately want God to use my life for His glorious story. When you're in a bondage of sin, most of the time it becomes a cycle. It's a way of life, and you just don't know how to get out. I have been miserable, and there are people who just don't understand what it's like to be held in the grip of addictive sin. But not everyone in a stronghold of sin is having a good time. I was depressed. I have cried my eyes out in my pillow going "God! What is wrong with me?... Just show me what is wrong with me." I had a heart for God, but what I did not know where the power to break free came from. I thought every time if I was sorry enough I wouldn't go back. What I didn't realize is that I needed some real alone time with God for healing. I didn't seek His Word for healing. I just studied because I was supposed to, and I enjoyed it most of the time. Fortunately, you can not help but have healing and restoration come to your mind when you are saturated in His Word.
For a long time, Satan told me I was going to stay where I was forever. When I really started to see me for who I was I had so much discouragement within myself and so much discouragement outside myself. But how could it be believable that a person with this much garbage, this much darkness... could ever be any kind of light? I would mull over who I was and who I wanted to be. Nights were always the worst for me. It was just me and God. There's no pretending to be someone else when you are alone. I couldn't hide anything. Satan kept telling me, "You're stuck. You're not capable of changing. You've tried so many times before and look where you are. You haven't moved. You're staying in the same place. Give up." All of this, and I was so tired of telling the God I love that I was sorry. But He, my Redeemer has refused to give up. He counteracted my every attitude, and every thought about myself and who He is. He first began humbling me, just showing me how to truly repent. And Love. And forgiveness. Softening my heart for His power and deliverance. He revealed to me that nothing is too big for Him. My heart was not too hard for Him. My sins were not too vast for Him. I did not have the one continual, destructive cycle that is too strong for God's Word to break. Nothing like that exists.
He told me, "Baby girl, believe Me. Believe that I can free you. Forever. And don't let anyone tell you any different. I AM WHO I AM."
For a long time, Satan told me I was going to stay where I was forever. When I really started to see me for who I was I had so much discouragement within myself and so much discouragement outside myself. But how could it be believable that a person with this much garbage, this much darkness... could ever be any kind of light? I would mull over who I was and who I wanted to be. Nights were always the worst for me. It was just me and God. There's no pretending to be someone else when you are alone. I couldn't hide anything. Satan kept telling me, "You're stuck. You're not capable of changing. You've tried so many times before and look where you are. You haven't moved. You're staying in the same place. Give up." All of this, and I was so tired of telling the God I love that I was sorry. But He, my Redeemer has refused to give up. He counteracted my every attitude, and every thought about myself and who He is. He first began humbling me, just showing me how to truly repent. And Love. And forgiveness. Softening my heart for His power and deliverance. He revealed to me that nothing is too big for Him. My heart was not too hard for Him. My sins were not too vast for Him. I did not have the one continual, destructive cycle that is too strong for God's Word to break. Nothing like that exists.
He told me, "Baby girl, believe Me. Believe that I can free you. Forever. And don't let anyone tell you any different. I AM WHO I AM."
posted by Holly at 2:53 PM
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