Oppression
At the beginning of my quiet time today, I didn't really understand where it was going. So, I quickly became fearful that I wasn't going to get anything out of it because God has made my quiet times so fruitful for the past 6 or 7 months. So, I stopped and prayed, "God help my heart to be receptive. I want to listen to You. Teach me. Show me something. I'm all ears and all yours."
I was reading Psalm 129, and it talks about being "oppressed from youth." I could completely relate. These were years I was being shaped, and they led to an oppression addiction. It seemed normal to me, and those were the types of relationships I looked for and was involved in for years. People react to oppression differently. I went through substance abuse, relationships, perfectionism, addictive shopping, shutting down... but with every decision it made me more oppressed and depressed. I let anger turn into pain. I mulled over it for years, eventually I just grew calloused and cold. When you are oppressed from youth you let people walk all over you. I did. For years. I inadvertently, went from being oppressed to an oppressor. The oppressed choose one of two ways--they either continue to allow people to walk all over them, or they become the people who walk all over them. I believe my choice was the worst of the two. I'd rather still be hurting then know I hurt someone I dearly love.
What became of my quiet time is I learned I can love (especially the people who deserve it) without offering them to walk. I realized I am freed up to forgive and love because according to Isaiah 49:25 my God contends with those who contend with me. He takes what happens to me very personally. He defends us when we return to Him and cry out.
Verse 3 of Psalm 129 says, "Plowmen have plowed my back..." Plowed ground is fertile ground. A seed is planted. A tree is grown. Fruit bursts forth.
That's my God.
I was reading Psalm 129, and it talks about being "oppressed from youth." I could completely relate. These were years I was being shaped, and they led to an oppression addiction. It seemed normal to me, and those were the types of relationships I looked for and was involved in for years. People react to oppression differently. I went through substance abuse, relationships, perfectionism, addictive shopping, shutting down... but with every decision it made me more oppressed and depressed. I let anger turn into pain. I mulled over it for years, eventually I just grew calloused and cold. When you are oppressed from youth you let people walk all over you. I did. For years. I inadvertently, went from being oppressed to an oppressor. The oppressed choose one of two ways--they either continue to allow people to walk all over them, or they become the people who walk all over them. I believe my choice was the worst of the two. I'd rather still be hurting then know I hurt someone I dearly love.
What became of my quiet time is I learned I can love (especially the people who deserve it) without offering them to walk. I realized I am freed up to forgive and love because according to Isaiah 49:25 my God contends with those who contend with me. He takes what happens to me very personally. He defends us when we return to Him and cry out.
Verse 3 of Psalm 129 says, "Plowmen have plowed my back..." Plowed ground is fertile ground. A seed is planted. A tree is grown. Fruit bursts forth.
That's my God.
posted by Holly at 10:27 PM
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