A wife of noble character is her husband's crown (Proverbs 12:4)
"A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
Proverbs 31:10-12
God has been burdening my heart about marriage lately. He's shown me what He desires for me and has asked me to wait. A man worth waiting for is only going to be found by a woman who waits. Last September God asked me to allow Him to write my love story. So I gave over my pen, and in no way do I want to take it back. I love how God teaches us. I can see the blocks He's been building on for the past year. Not only has He been teaching me what His Word says about marriage, He's been teaching me what His Word says about faith. Both are about trust, one of my greatest struggles. To trust in Him is one of the greatest barometers of spiritual growth. He has been changing my misconceptions about marriage for almost a year now. I have been given so much grace in this area of my life. I am not a wife of noble character. I am not deserving of God's plans for marriage and children. He is way too good in teaching me, and He is way too good in keeping me until the time is right. I do not understand, as always, why me?
I love how He has been Papa in this area of my life. He's making sure I am complete, and I am whole. Like a Father, He's making sure everything is perfect. I've learned that if we don't discover who we are in Christ we will go back and uncover who we were apart from Christ because the flesh always gravitates towards what is familiar and the Spirit toward the unfamiliar. If we try to build intimacy with another person before we have done the hard work of becoming whole on our own in Jesus, then all of our relationship will become an attempt to complete ourself, and that sets us up for failure. Completion is Jesus' responsibility. We were not created to complete one another, but to complement another. It is my privilege! A husband can be a great guy, but he makes for a lousy god. When we look for a man to be anything more than a faithful yet flawed man, we are setting ourselves up for failure. A husband is not meant to be a woman's source of love, joy, peace, etc. God never intended for a man to be everything I needed-that is an idolatrous mentality.
He's shown me the difference between expectations and ideals. They are not the same. Ideals are taken from God's Word and are God's standards for men and women. Expectations flow from what we think we deserve in a certain situation. Pride fuels our expectations because pride is an overinflated view of what we think we deserve in life. I have to remember that I am perfectly forgiven; I am not perfect. And the ideal man is neither perfect nor flawless. Jesus was the only flawless man. Therefore, every man has flaws. The difference between one flawed man and another is what he does with his failures. An ideal is a man who is qualified to help me obey God. If he loves me he will help me obey. An ideal a man will be running at the same pace as me in the direction of Jesus. He will allow me to continue in the direction of my life adventure designed by God. He'll allow me to stay in my racing lane, but he'll run with me as an encouragement. He has his own identity, and it is in Christ alone.
God is more concerned with who I am, then who I am with or what job I have, or anything else. My eternal security has to be found underneath the wings of Almighty God before I can ever rest underneath the wings of a godly man. I have to be a woman that is ready and willing to attend to others needs. I have to be strong in biblical character. I have to make trust a daily practice. I have a daily choice to believe truth or exchange it for a lie. I have to be willing to be pliable to be molded into the godly woman God desires me to be. I have to allow God to create in me a submissive heart and spirit. I have to allow God to bring me to the place where Scripture takes root, and I reflect Christ in my marriage. I have to be at a place where I love God and my husband for who they are, not for what they give me. I have to be a wife now who guards her heart, taking all thoughts and motives captive to Christ.
A wife of noble character is honored, righteous and morally upstanding. Her husband has full confidence in her. She does him good, not evil, allthe days of her life. It's beginning to love him now-that is esteeming him more important than me. It's giving him all of me. My presence is a gift. My conversation is a gift. My hopes, dreams and fears are a gift. My hugs are a gift. My kisses are a gift. My heart is a gift.
Sometimes I get made fun of because I give the Sunday School answer, and sometimes I get teased because I take the Word of God to heart. I cannot help my convictions though. I cannot take one part of the Bible and live by it, but not live by another. What God has been teaching me about marriage, I so desperately want to live by because it is His Word, and it's beautiful. So, if my relationship with my husband is to reflect my relationship with Christ then I need to consider it sacred too. Now. Not later.
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
Proverbs 31:10-12
God has been burdening my heart about marriage lately. He's shown me what He desires for me and has asked me to wait. A man worth waiting for is only going to be found by a woman who waits. Last September God asked me to allow Him to write my love story. So I gave over my pen, and in no way do I want to take it back. I love how God teaches us. I can see the blocks He's been building on for the past year. Not only has He been teaching me what His Word says about marriage, He's been teaching me what His Word says about faith. Both are about trust, one of my greatest struggles. To trust in Him is one of the greatest barometers of spiritual growth. He has been changing my misconceptions about marriage for almost a year now. I have been given so much grace in this area of my life. I am not a wife of noble character. I am not deserving of God's plans for marriage and children. He is way too good in teaching me, and He is way too good in keeping me until the time is right. I do not understand, as always, why me?
I love how He has been Papa in this area of my life. He's making sure I am complete, and I am whole. Like a Father, He's making sure everything is perfect. I've learned that if we don't discover who we are in Christ we will go back and uncover who we were apart from Christ because the flesh always gravitates towards what is familiar and the Spirit toward the unfamiliar. If we try to build intimacy with another person before we have done the hard work of becoming whole on our own in Jesus, then all of our relationship will become an attempt to complete ourself, and that sets us up for failure. Completion is Jesus' responsibility. We were not created to complete one another, but to complement another. It is my privilege! A husband can be a great guy, but he makes for a lousy god. When we look for a man to be anything more than a faithful yet flawed man, we are setting ourselves up for failure. A husband is not meant to be a woman's source of love, joy, peace, etc. God never intended for a man to be everything I needed-that is an idolatrous mentality.
He's shown me the difference between expectations and ideals. They are not the same. Ideals are taken from God's Word and are God's standards for men and women. Expectations flow from what we think we deserve in a certain situation. Pride fuels our expectations because pride is an overinflated view of what we think we deserve in life. I have to remember that I am perfectly forgiven; I am not perfect. And the ideal man is neither perfect nor flawless. Jesus was the only flawless man. Therefore, every man has flaws. The difference between one flawed man and another is what he does with his failures. An ideal is a man who is qualified to help me obey God. If he loves me he will help me obey. An ideal a man will be running at the same pace as me in the direction of Jesus. He will allow me to continue in the direction of my life adventure designed by God. He'll allow me to stay in my racing lane, but he'll run with me as an encouragement. He has his own identity, and it is in Christ alone.
God is more concerned with who I am, then who I am with or what job I have, or anything else. My eternal security has to be found underneath the wings of Almighty God before I can ever rest underneath the wings of a godly man. I have to be a woman that is ready and willing to attend to others needs. I have to be strong in biblical character. I have to make trust a daily practice. I have a daily choice to believe truth or exchange it for a lie. I have to be willing to be pliable to be molded into the godly woman God desires me to be. I have to allow God to create in me a submissive heart and spirit. I have to allow God to bring me to the place where Scripture takes root, and I reflect Christ in my marriage. I have to be at a place where I love God and my husband for who they are, not for what they give me. I have to be a wife now who guards her heart, taking all thoughts and motives captive to Christ.
A wife of noble character is honored, righteous and morally upstanding. Her husband has full confidence in her. She does him good, not evil, allthe days of her life. It's beginning to love him now-that is esteeming him more important than me. It's giving him all of me. My presence is a gift. My conversation is a gift. My hopes, dreams and fears are a gift. My hugs are a gift. My kisses are a gift. My heart is a gift.
Sometimes I get made fun of because I give the Sunday School answer, and sometimes I get teased because I take the Word of God to heart. I cannot help my convictions though. I cannot take one part of the Bible and live by it, but not live by another. What God has been teaching me about marriage, I so desperately want to live by because it is His Word, and it's beautiful. So, if my relationship with my husband is to reflect my relationship with Christ then I need to consider it sacred too. Now. Not later.
posted by Holly at 10:43 PM
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